MODULE 5: What do You Need?
The Myth of Always be Hustling
From a young age, many of us have been socialized to believe that working harder and hustling more are the keys to success. Constant movement, speed, and efficiency have become the most acceptable way of being in the world, as if not being continuously focused on getting things done is lazy. We might even find ourselves feeling guilty for doing "nothing" when we do stop, and feel restlessness in the gap if we aren't being productive. The deep rooted belief that constant hustle and stress are inherently linked to success and value has also resulted in us viewing busyness as a badge of honor. Our identity and worthiness can become tied up with our level of accomplishment and output.
If left unchecked, constant striving and busyness will wreck havoc on your body and mind and can lead to lower levels of physical and emotional health, including burnout and lower life satisfaction. Constant work and no play is also linked to lower job satisfaction, reduced efficiency, productivity, and attention span.
The Downside of the Hustle
Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to pause and do nothing? Constantly doing is a form of buffering, and can keep us from considering the following: "If I'm not being productive or crossing items off my to-do list, then who I am and what is my value?" The popular internet meme states "You don't have to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm", but for so many of us socialized as women, we live with the expectation that we give of ourselves constantly - our time, our energy, and attention. We were taught to prioritize the needs of others above our own, and that our worth comes from how we help and are of service to others.
We trick ourselves into believing that our careers, relationships and lives will improve if we become more productive, accomplish more, and work harder and faster. This belief can get us trapped in the thought error that constant hustle comes with big rewards, and not with a hefty cost.
I've been there, and maybe you have too. If you're experiencing burnout, chances are that you might be living in the constant hustle.
Do you find yourself continuously trying to be productive?
Do you feel guilty when you pause?
Are you acutely aware of when you are "wasting time"?
Do you feel restless when you slow down or have a gap in your calendar?
If so, you're not alone.
So what to do now?
It's time to Restore.
An essential part of healing is restoration and in this module, we'll explore exactly how to do so. It's time to develop the ability to resist the urge to constantly do. True resilience is about the capacity to detach in order to restore, replenish, and recharge, not to push and persevere.
Consider if it might be time to choose your own well-being - and your own life - over the demands of constant hustle, doing, and producing.
The Concept of Oscillation
Have you ever noticed the cycles to life? Nature goes dormant in winter. Bears hibernate. Rest days are necessary when training for a marathon. Restoration is a vital part of sustained success and growth. We are built to oscillate between rest and work. When we allow for the oscillation, not only does the quality of our work improve along with efficiency and productivity, but so does mental and physical health and well being.
Tuning into Our Bodies
Most of us have learned to be ignorers of our own needs. We are busy, and we're not paying attention. We usually don't even notice that we are actually ignoring our needs, even though our bodies are sending us all kinds of signals. We live in our minds, valuing logic over emotion, and output over inward sensations. Even though your personal wants and desires may change over time, your fundamental needs do not. Your body needs sleep. She needs food and water. She needs rest and movement. She needs love and connection. And there is nothing that must be "done" in order to "earn" the right to meet these needs.
Have you been ignoring any of your body's basic needs?
If so, are you aware of what they are?
Why do you think you have chosen to ignore your needs? What is getting in the way?
This week’s focus is on helping you identify the areas where you need to restore. What needs are not being met, and why? Where do you want to focus your efforts to being to restore wellness?
Worksheet: Tuning in.
Use this worksheet to turn your attention towards your physical body. Take an inventory of what you are experiencing and what fundamental needs are neglected.