MODULE 3: Mindset Mastery
Mindset Mastery to Grow and Thrive
Hello friends! This week is all about mindset mastery and the discomfort that is required to grow and thrive. We will be talking about how to notice and start to pay attention to our thinking, and use our mind in a deliberate, powerful way.
Managing our minds and deciding what we want to think is the secret to a happier, more fulfilling life. If we practice having more high-quality thoughts about ourselves and our lives, we will have a better experience than if we are always thinking negative thoughts.
This is NOT the same as toxic positivity. The goal is NOT to think positive all of the time, but it is to think DELIBERATELY.
Becoming the Watcher of your Own Mind to find the Sentences you tell Yourself.
If you want to learn to manage your mind, the first skill to learn is to become the watcher of your own mind. Simply put, this means that you must become aware of what you are thinking. Learning to observe your thinking allows you to put some distance between you and your thoughts and recognize that you are not your thoughts. You are the person watching your thoughts.
Thoughts are sentences that run through our brains. We all have some sentences that we spend a lot of time thinking. Sometimes, these help us. Other times, they hurt us and limit our potential. These are called Power Sentences.
Very often, people will say “I don’t feel like I have control over my thinking”. The reason why they don’t feel like they have control over their thinking is because they are not aware of their thinking. So it feels like thoughts are just happening to them.
If you want to create real changes in your life, you need to become mindful of your mind.
You must start thinking about what is going on in your mind, and consider whether you want to keep thinking these thoughts.
Why Mindfulness Matters
We have about 60,000 thoughts per day and most of the time we are completely unaware of 99% of them.
The purpose of a thought download is not to stop your negative thoughts, but to get all your thoughts down on paper and become aware. With most of your thoughts being unconscious, thought downloads allow you to uncover what you may not be seeing.
Negative thoughts do not mean that you aren’t doing a good job in your life. It just means you are a human with a brain.
Much of our negative thinking is automatic. It is well patterned and practiced and therefore we don’t even notice it unless we are paying attention.
Be Curious and Compassionate with Yourself
When you start understanding your own mind, you might not like everything that goes on in there. It can be frustrating to see your own negative thoughts. What I want to suggest to you is to just be curious and compassionate. EVERYONE HAS NEGATIVE THOUGHTS SOMETIMES. This is normal. You are NOT broken or crazy. Nothing has gone wrong.
Watch for Patterns.
As you start to notice your thoughts, you will want to change them right away. Instead of opting for immediate change, it is so much more useful to observe patterns and to see the effects of your own thinking on your life experience. The brain likes to be efficient, so it is normal for it to default to thinking the same things over and over. Therefore, changing thoughts takes practice – lots of it.
Thought Management Means Allowing Your Experience
It is critical to allow your thoughts and feelings. By allowing them, you can increase your awareness and decide how you’re going to react. It is important not to resist your thoughts or feelings or block them out.
Having negative thoughts and feelings is a part of life and even though you can change your experience at any given moment, this does not mean you will.
Perhaps your loved one is diagnosed with an illness, and you are having lots of negative thoughts about it, and you are feeling sad. Sometimes you want to think and feel that way you do. You may not want to think happy thoughts in this situation. That is your inherent power as a human being. To choose your thoughts and feelings, even the negative ones, and to allow yourself to experience your full humanity.
How to Challenge Your Thinking
Thoughts are observations that you THINK are true. The brain will present thoughts like they are truths when it’s always just your own interpretation.
We can create tons of evidence for our thoughts and can feel very justified in our thinking. Sometimes we can even rally up a lot of support for our opinions. However, even if a thought feels true, we always want to question whether it’s helpful…or even potentially harmful. Important questions to ask especially when a thought feels true, are:
· What do I create in my life when I think this?
· Does thinking this create an emotional experience that I want?
· How do I show up when I think this thought?
Programmed Vs. Deliberate Thoughts
Most thinking is subconscious and automatic. It is so important to start to watch your brain, especially as it relates to changes you want to make in your life. You must bring these unconscious thoughts to your level of awareness prior to making a shift.
Programmed Thinking
Very often, our brains are programmed inadvertently, without our awareness or permission. We usually are unaware of our programmed thoughts. They feel automatic. These are all the thoughts that we have picked up throughout the course of our lives from our families, our friends, societal messaging, and the media. These are the thoughts we think that we have never really questioned.
When we don’t manage our mind or tell it where to focus, it manages us. We listen to what our brain tells us without ever questioning it.
Deliberate Thinking
We all have the capacity to think differently on purpose. Our thoughts are always choices we make. Deciding to think a specific thought is the first step. We then need to start to program that thought into our brain and practice it with repetition.
When we learn or practice something new (including thoughts), it creates a very weak neural pathway in our brain. If we repeat it, and especially if we add significant emotion to it, it eventually becomes more unconscious and effortless. Through time we can rewire our own minds.
Exercise: The Thought Audit
Download the worksheet and fill in, or simply use the worksheet as a prompt for your next thought download (Thought Audit Doc). It is critical to uncover the thoughts - or the power sentences - that are running on autopilot in your mind. This worksheet will help. Feel free to bring anything that comes up to our next coaching session :)